I need a Cigarette

I just do. So I get some and light it up and wow, it tastes like shit but I keep smoking it just because. I enjoy a good smoke once in a while, but the situation has to be just so for it to be enjoyable. Tonight I wish the situation was just so but it isn't. Maybe I need more than just a smoke. I need to meditate on what it is I need........shit.I just want to party, laugh and let go.
I want to just let go.