I question you God
We had a last minute mothers night out for the HS group. We needed to communicate our differences because this group is important enough to do so. I thought it was just a night where we all would say our peace and look to find ways to make ammends. It was so much more than that.
It started out as a "this is why I am they way I am " ( family structure growing up, my role in this group and am I comfortable with it, what I need to change and adjust to bring us all into the 'mead' of personalities). WOW. There is trust and courage going on here. So around the table we go. I'm sorry's, I can see that now's, This is the role I see myself in this group.
Then we came upon the one person I thought was one of the forces behind all the anxieties, the one who kept wanting to add things, but tried to keep just to her sewing. Several pieces of paper was passed out to each of us and she left the room so we could read her "why I am the way I am." I was irritated. Reading, reading, reading.
what the hell am I reading! Why am I reading this? Is this true? Did this really happen? It's too much. I just wanted to build a rock! I didn't want all this emotional baggage, what am I suppose to do? what can I say to her?
Corrine saw that I needed a break and left to go out and have a cigarette. I cried, I felt sick to my stomach. "what do I do now?" " What do I say?"....... "I can't answer that for you".
God:
I question you God, How can you let monsters like this among children? Where were you that night? Where are you! Are you really there? This has no reasoning....none.
I am going to try and shove this into the back somewhere, where the rest of the crap I don't want to churn up remaines. The dynamics of "friendship" is stained now because I couldn't talk to her about it. I was blind sided. She keeps appolgizing to me for upsetting me. How can she say that? The night ended several hours later and I drove her home. We said nothing more about the writtings, but the elephant was there.
~You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.--Eleanor Roosevelt
I didn't do that.........I am very sorry.
*
It started out as a "this is why I am they way I am " ( family structure growing up, my role in this group and am I comfortable with it, what I need to change and adjust to bring us all into the 'mead' of personalities). WOW. There is trust and courage going on here. So around the table we go. I'm sorry's, I can see that now's, This is the role I see myself in this group.
Then we came upon the one person I thought was one of the forces behind all the anxieties, the one who kept wanting to add things, but tried to keep just to her sewing. Several pieces of paper was passed out to each of us and she left the room so we could read her "why I am the way I am." I was irritated. Reading, reading, reading.
what the hell am I reading! Why am I reading this? Is this true? Did this really happen? It's too much. I just wanted to build a rock! I didn't want all this emotional baggage, what am I suppose to do? what can I say to her?
Corrine saw that I needed a break and left to go out and have a cigarette. I cried, I felt sick to my stomach. "what do I do now?" " What do I say?"....... "I can't answer that for you".
God:
I question you God, How can you let monsters like this among children? Where were you that night? Where are you! Are you really there? This has no reasoning....none.
I am going to try and shove this into the back somewhere, where the rest of the crap I don't want to churn up remaines. The dynamics of "friendship" is stained now because I couldn't talk to her about it. I was blind sided. She keeps appolgizing to me for upsetting me. How can she say that? The night ended several hours later and I drove her home. We said nothing more about the writtings, but the elephant was there.
~You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.--Eleanor Roosevelt
I didn't do that.........I am very sorry.
*
posted by Lynne at 6/03/2004 09:14:00 AM
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