I have the pleaure of being able to sit at my desk and look over my right shoulder to see this morning beautiful sunrise......by myself. By myself. I want to be by myself within my family. I think my soul is trying to tell me something is amiss. I feel like I am bug skidding across the waters of my life but not really touching it. Something is missing. There is a place inside me that has not been reached yet, but it is coming. I can feel it. It's interesting how life can force your hand to move forward. Sometimes, when your not feeling ready or wanting to. It's like having the flu. You don't want to throw up, so you try to keep it in and suffer even longer. If You just throw up, you'd feel better sooner. Well , I don't want to throw up. But I don't think I have a choice. My want and need for love and security much stronger than my need to keep it all in. I think I feel that I don't know how to have a relationship with my husband. That things are so one sided. my side. Where is the communication? Where the understanding and compassion? Where did I go wrong? And why is it just me who feels this way? I think I'm starting to throw up now. I would like to think what I am feeling is perfectly normal for married people. And that with some time alone, or communicaton or something that never seems like enough should take care of it until the next time you feel this way. This is the typical 'up' and 'downs' of a relationship long standing. Nothing is perfect.

~A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  ~Mignon McLaughlin,

~Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths.  No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.  ~Mark Twain

~Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.  ~William Congreve

~My wife says I never listen to her.  At least I think that's what she said.  ~Author Unknown

~How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.  ~Oscar Wilde