I have been feeling really good these days. although last night I was about to throw in the towel with homeschooling. It's amazing how a 'little' lack of self esteem can put you in the dumps. I was ready to throw in the towel and say "let someone else do it". But realizing that I was trapped which scared me even more. "What would I do with myself?" Crying was next. I can't and won't go back out into the work force. I need to be here for my girls. I want to give it all up sometimes. I guess that's a natural considering the system I was raised in. Both by divorced parents and the the six different schools systems I was raised in. We all fear things when it comes to our children. "Are we doing the right thing?" ......always thinking that....always. But you know, When I think about it. It could be so much worst. We could totally mess things up but we're not. There is no way I could possibly short change our kids even if I think I don't have what it takes. We all {parents} feel lacks in our abilities to raise our children. Fear fear fear. dam it fear!! I don't like second guessing myself and I don't like to repeat myself. So here I am, stuck in what could be 'a never to be answered question.' We are all guinea pigs as parents. As long as my girls don't come back later in life and say" mom I am screwed up because of how you raised me" I'll be so grateful.
We will always be a product of our upbringing. "Get over it" I say. We've given you all the important tools, what you do with them is up to you." On with our retirement!

So yes, I have been feeling good, LOL!
There are ups and downs in every aspect of life. What makes this any different? So on we plug on. Today was a very good day for everything. I guess that will make up for yesterday.

~In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.--Theodore Roosevelt