The last few days have been hectic. the most hectic I have been in a long time. It's amazing the time and energy it takes for me to entertain in my home at my expectational level!! I only want the best. It can't be just a simple little gathering with potluck type foods, with some light decorations and cleaning to invite my friends in. I have to have bells and whistles. who the hell is it for? It must be for me because no one else really cares. It all about the people not weather or not I have my baseboards wiped down or every cobweb wiped away. What the hell is my problem? Why can't I just open the doors and say "this is it, hope it works for you". Sometimes I have no choice but to do that. But for some reason this time I am all keyed up about this gatherng that doesn't hold the merits of my closest friends. I think there is a shift coming. maybe I have put 'them' in to a slot that merits it. That has to be it!! It can't be because I'm nut or anything. The tension of having this huge tree in my living room has made me moody. I need my space back. The house feels smaller and it gets trash faster. I want all the shopping and running around to stop, January 3rd to be here now,I don't want to see all the people and put up fronts and New Years is going to suck this year. I'd rather stay home. WHEW!!

Okay, I'm alright.
Merry Christmas!