Okay, I can't wait for rain anymore.........
The seeds are planted and growing! The Vegetable garden has been pitched. The lettuce, spinach and peas are planted. Watering will be a challenge until Matt get the outside water changed over to well water, right now it is soft water. So, for the meantime, I will be taking 5 gallon buckets of well water over to Cheryl's and watering the lettuce, spinach and peas. OH, the labor of love.
Answering questions:
I don't know what it was about those three weeks. It just seem to accumulate itself with separations and divorces; and people telling me about it! I was a lost for words on all four occasions. Just that I was sorry to hear it. The telling of those ordeals haunted me for days. I obviously didn't put up the plexy glass wall to protect myself. I soaked it all in. The reasons, the rationals, the selfisheness, the unwillingness. Is it that easy? Of course it is! Cheryl asked me if I was worried about my relationship? I told her no. But I lived through many divorces. All my siblings have been divorced already and some are remarried, some more than once! I refused to think it's all such a disposable part to a happy life. I wish nothing but the best for all those who feel they have to go through this in order to be happier or less stiffled by their partners. I for one, am in it for the long ride. It wasn't meant to be easy. It's a time of realization and growth for all involved. I for one look forward to everything being exposed and excepted and to grow in a love so profound. What a gift of life.
The Interm pastor reminds me of Mike Hoffman, the weatherman on channel 16 news. He is funny , fresh and his family is young and egar. A mindful Mechanic answering a call for a new life in the Church of the Bretheren. As usual I wish they could stay, but we have a full-time pastor candidate on the line starting this coming Sunday. Her name is Marcia Kump. The ritual starts Friday and ends Sunday . We are only getting involved in the Sunday activites due to other plans, of course!! Tom and I are going to an adult prom Saturday night at Holy Cross. Getting decked out to the nines with dinner and dancing. We look forward to a night out with our friends there. It has been a while.
What the church doesn't mean to me is still upmost in my mind. I think a turn over again in pastors is starting to take a toll on our small congregation. We lost two families which is big in our small church. The constant focus on 'what are we doing wrong' and 'why are we not growing'? is wearing at us. I don't want to search for the answers anymore. I just merely want to be a part of something that is something. Sticking with it is hard when only half your heart is there. We missed service on Easter Sunday and you would have thought we've been gone for two months. Hello?!? We have been there EVERY SUNDAY since school started! You miss a Sunday and they think we are jumping ship. We were even a discussion at the last Leadership meeting to a point where one person was asked to make a call on us to see what was up? Roger was picked. Roger is a go getter with a personal future in ministries himself when life permitts. He came to our defense at that meeting, telling them Tom works nights and sundays are our only 'full' day together as a family and that sometimes church can't always fit in. ( although it has until Easter) They looked at him like 'what'? church is everything, there is no reason not to make it your whole life. We need everyone. We all have to make sacrifices ( this is more me filling in the blanks of course :) They acted like they didn't know about that little detail maybe? But we are not the end all in this church and right now, I personally am teetering on the edge and I am tired of being on the edge. I need......... to look inside and find out what it is that needs to be fulfilled by this church and not feel obligated anymore. I just want to do what is right all the time by mine and other peoples standards and it doesn't ring true for me anymore. We are taking the summer off again this year from church. I'm not sure we are doing ourselves a diservice by doing this. But the rest of my family is jumping on that wagon as it rolls down the hill! Can I be the lone ranger in this church life. Do I want to be? I have to be the one to make it all happen anyway. Do I want that conrol anymore? Like the divorces and seprations above, it would be easy to just not go anymore. (humph, think think think).
Music with Kellirae was the most uninhibiated feeling I've ever had when it came to singing and just plan having fun with it. We are in the process of pulling together three song with great harmony parts in them that she can play on her guitar to sing at open mikes this summer. COOL! Looking so forward to our next practice.
My man is awesome and my girls are happy. what more can I say? I am just glad it is for now...(grin).
In times of change, it is the learners who will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists. ~ Anon ~
Answering questions:
I don't know what it was about those three weeks. It just seem to accumulate itself with separations and divorces; and people telling me about it! I was a lost for words on all four occasions. Just that I was sorry to hear it. The telling of those ordeals haunted me for days. I obviously didn't put up the plexy glass wall to protect myself. I soaked it all in. The reasons, the rationals, the selfisheness, the unwillingness. Is it that easy? Of course it is! Cheryl asked me if I was worried about my relationship? I told her no. But I lived through many divorces. All my siblings have been divorced already and some are remarried, some more than once! I refused to think it's all such a disposable part to a happy life. I wish nothing but the best for all those who feel they have to go through this in order to be happier or less stiffled by their partners. I for one, am in it for the long ride. It wasn't meant to be easy. It's a time of realization and growth for all involved. I for one look forward to everything being exposed and excepted and to grow in a love so profound. What a gift of life.
The Interm pastor reminds me of Mike Hoffman, the weatherman on channel 16 news. He is funny , fresh and his family is young and egar. A mindful Mechanic answering a call for a new life in the Church of the Bretheren. As usual I wish they could stay, but we have a full-time pastor candidate on the line starting this coming Sunday. Her name is Marcia Kump. The ritual starts Friday and ends Sunday . We are only getting involved in the Sunday activites due to other plans, of course!! Tom and I are going to an adult prom Saturday night at Holy Cross. Getting decked out to the nines with dinner and dancing. We look forward to a night out with our friends there. It has been a while.
What the church doesn't mean to me is still upmost in my mind. I think a turn over again in pastors is starting to take a toll on our small congregation. We lost two families which is big in our small church. The constant focus on 'what are we doing wrong' and 'why are we not growing'? is wearing at us. I don't want to search for the answers anymore. I just merely want to be a part of something that is something. Sticking with it is hard when only half your heart is there. We missed service on Easter Sunday and you would have thought we've been gone for two months. Hello?!? We have been there EVERY SUNDAY since school started! You miss a Sunday and they think we are jumping ship. We were even a discussion at the last Leadership meeting to a point where one person was asked to make a call on us to see what was up? Roger was picked. Roger is a go getter with a personal future in ministries himself when life permitts. He came to our defense at that meeting, telling them Tom works nights and sundays are our only 'full' day together as a family and that sometimes church can't always fit in. ( although it has until Easter) They looked at him like 'what'? church is everything, there is no reason not to make it your whole life. We need everyone. We all have to make sacrifices ( this is more me filling in the blanks of course :) They acted like they didn't know about that little detail maybe? But we are not the end all in this church and right now, I personally am teetering on the edge and I am tired of being on the edge. I need......... to look inside and find out what it is that needs to be fulfilled by this church and not feel obligated anymore. I just want to do what is right all the time by mine and other peoples standards and it doesn't ring true for me anymore. We are taking the summer off again this year from church. I'm not sure we are doing ourselves a diservice by doing this. But the rest of my family is jumping on that wagon as it rolls down the hill! Can I be the lone ranger in this church life. Do I want to be? I have to be the one to make it all happen anyway. Do I want that conrol anymore? Like the divorces and seprations above, it would be easy to just not go anymore. (humph, think think think).
Music with Kellirae was the most uninhibiated feeling I've ever had when it came to singing and just plan having fun with it. We are in the process of pulling together three song with great harmony parts in them that she can play on her guitar to sing at open mikes this summer. COOL! Looking so forward to our next practice.
My man is awesome and my girls are happy. what more can I say? I am just glad it is for now...(grin).
In times of change, it is the learners who will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists. ~ Anon ~
posted by Lynne at 4/19/2005 10:14:00 AM
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