I am Merely Here

I miss being on my blog. I miss alot of things these days. I believe I have been not taking care of myself. It is so hard to think of 'me' when so much needs to come first. That is what being a motherr is all about to me. Being the total opposite of my parents who were so wrapped up in their 'drama' they called a life. Man the seventies sucked. The eighties were in second place. During the 'prime' of my life the two decades that were to shape me truly sucked.
So here today the 'prime' of my life started in the 90's and continues to this day! Taking care of my sprirt has got to be push, at least to the middle of the line. I still have some strings that need trimming but don't we all. Perfection doesn't exsist in my life and I refuse to let it in the door.

Chick weekend and I started packing this past weekend. Did that concern my husband? Maybe. I can be excited. He is finding the joy in this special time with his daughters, He has plans. I am grateful. My girls are giving me hugs to last the next four days that I will be gone. How sweet.

The fall here has arrived in all it's glory yesterday. A cold gentle rain has made it apparent that fall is here to stay. the harvest moon has be spectacular! The hickorys and dogwoods are changing beautifully. We won't see this beginning color down south this weekend. I hope to see water in the creek.

Ladies, I'm a coming!

It's always something

It's always something
when it comes to life
you could have everything
and you could have nothing
what do you want to make of it?
how can it happen?
what makes you happy?
what wrong with this picture?
I feel dumbed on
But I'm good at that
give it to me!

It's always something
when I try and everything goes wrong
so much pain
so much suffering
Can I help it?
Can I make a difference?
what will it take?

It's always something
when little girls smile
ask you questions about life
that you don't want to answer now
can I do this?
who will show me the way?

It's always something
when people view you in one way
and you think of yourself in another
where do they get that?
how did they come to that?
I like it better
thank you!

It's always something
when walls come down
and truth comes through
and growth starts again
I love getting older

It's always something
when the sun comes up
the joys it brings
the sorrow it takes
I'm at peace with me
but I am not alone

"It has been said that writing comes more easily if you have something to say." ~Sholem Asch

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.--Dr. Suess

Cool air is back and I couldn't be happier!

The acorns and hickory nuts are starting to drop. The tree house roof pings everytime it gets hit. Doen't sound like good sleeping to me. I love Fall. I look forward to the change. Mostly when we've had a hot dry summer. which we haven't hadd this year. So this has been the longest fall on record in my books!

As I was sitting in church this past sunday I realized that it pretty much sucks. Yes, I'm needed. But I can be needed somewhere else. Somewhere where my heart sings out " I have found what I've been looking for!" We will soon be looking for another church. Maybe our church will simply be our very own home.

I've been wanting to talk about how I talk too much about myself. Why can't I just get off it and listen to other people without adding anything....just listen. I know that's the way people communicate and share. But I'm talking getting outside of myself. I'm too wrapped up in where I'm at and where I should be and what is good and not for me. I'm one of those people who rehashes conversations of the day and kicks herself because she said something stupid or totally off the mark. I think I have AADDD!!! Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I should get it checked out. Me Me Me, that's what s it all about.

This is all my spirit needs............

May Respect crowd out the weed of Violence
and Community spring from the ashes of Isolation.
May the stories of our grandmothers and grandfathers
once again nourish the growing souls of our children.


May we see the Divine in one another and in nature
that the Earth may be healed and all her children
have an abundance of food, freedom, and loving-kindness
as we give willingly and with heartfelt joy to one another.


May the music of shared laughter replace cries of suffering
as the Great Tree of Peace takes root in every heart.
May we offer a renewed and resurrected World
to the Creator with infinite gratitude and thanksgiving.

~ Joan Borysenko, author and speaker