_Iron Butterfly Tiarella-

_Iron Butterfly Tiarella-
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

white bleeding heart

white bleeding heart
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Fendler Meadowrue

Fendler Meadowrue
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

I love my camera when I can take pictures like this............

Prom NIght

Prom NIght
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Okay, I chose this picture because I wanted my necklace to show. Forget the double chin will ya?

Anyway, Prom night was very romantic. A double baby rose boutonniere for Tom and a triple baby rose wrist corsage for me. I felt 17 again. The evening started with cocktails at 6:00pm and dinner at 7:00pm. A Polish dinner no less. Plenty of 70's music to dance to and one B 52's song. The Limbo and plenty of conversation. A very nice night, I felt so grown up.


So the snow made it's return to our area to the tune of three inches that same night. I had spent time out in the yard that afternoon covering up a hosta species that I knew wouldn't tolerate the cold snow and tempratures. I was constantly telling myself, "survival of the fittest" " survival of the fittest". I don't want to baby my plants, just like I don't want to baby my children. But at times, we do.
Everything worked out fine and the sun shines bright this morning as I write. The vegetable plants will be repotted today and placed in the cold frame. I am amazed how quickly they came up from seed. The excitement, the beauty, the sense of provision. It's all so good.

I won't bore you to much with Church crap. Just that we need someone younger than what they had presented this past weekend. They (the search committee) know very well that is what is needed in order for the church to be pushed into this century. It is the youth of our church that will continue not the 'set in our ways' generation.
that's it, I say no more.

I have great concerns for a few of my friends. I hope you know I am here. I will always be there for you. Everyone of you are in my heart so deep. so deep.
peace and love.

~The first peace, which is the most important,
is that which comes within the souls of people
when they realize their relationship,
their oneness with the universe and all its powers,
and when they realize that at the center
of the universe dwells the Great Spirit,
and that this center is really everywhere,
it is within each of us.
~ Black Elk

Narcissus Daffodils

Lorrine Daffodils
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

yellow epimedium

Bishops Cap
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Bleeding Heart

Bleeding Heart
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Giant Trillum

Giant Trillum
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

silver dollar

silver dollar
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Magnolia

Magnolia
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Varigated Solmon Seal

Varigated Solmon Seal
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Virginia Bluebells

Virginia Bluebells
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Okay, I can't wait for rain anymore.........

The seeds are planted and growing! The Vegetable garden has been pitched. The lettuce, spinach and peas are planted. Watering will be a challenge until Matt get the outside water changed over to well water, right now it is soft water. So, for the meantime, I will be taking 5 gallon buckets of well water over to Cheryl's and watering the lettuce, spinach and peas. OH, the labor of love.





Answering questions:

I don't know what it was about those three weeks. It just seem to accumulate itself with separations and divorces; and people telling me about it! I was a lost for words on all four occasions. Just that I was sorry to hear it. The telling of those ordeals haunted me for days. I obviously didn't put up the plexy glass wall to protect myself. I soaked it all in. The reasons, the rationals, the selfisheness, the unwillingness. Is it that easy? Of course it is! Cheryl asked me if I was worried about my relationship? I told her no. But I lived through many divorces. All my siblings have been divorced already and some are remarried, some more than once! I refused to think it's all such a disposable part to a happy life. I wish nothing but the best for all those who feel they have to go through this in order to be happier or less stiffled by their partners. I for one, am in it for the long ride. It wasn't meant to be easy. It's a time of realization and growth for all involved. I for one look forward to everything being exposed and excepted and to grow in a love so profound. What a gift of life.

The Interm pastor reminds me of Mike Hoffman, the weatherman on channel 16 news. He is funny , fresh and his family is young and egar. A mindful Mechanic answering a call for a new life in the Church of the Bretheren. As usual I wish they could stay, but we have a full-time pastor candidate on the line starting this coming Sunday. Her name is Marcia Kump. The ritual starts Friday and ends Sunday . We are only getting involved in the Sunday activites due to other plans, of course!! Tom and I are going to an adult prom Saturday night at Holy Cross. Getting decked out to the nines with dinner and dancing. We look forward to a night out with our friends there. It has been a while.
What the church doesn't mean to me is still upmost in my mind. I think a turn over again in pastors is starting to take a toll on our small congregation. We lost two families which is big in our small church. The constant focus on 'what are we doing wrong' and 'why are we not growing'? is wearing at us. I don't want to search for the answers anymore. I just merely want to be a part of something that is something. Sticking with it is hard when only half your heart is there. We missed service on Easter Sunday and you would have thought we've been gone for two months. Hello?!? We have been there EVERY SUNDAY since school started! You miss a Sunday and they think we are jumping ship. We were even a discussion at the last Leadership meeting to a point where one person was asked to make a call on us to see what was up? Roger was picked. Roger is a go getter with a personal future in ministries himself when life permitts. He came to our defense at that meeting, telling them Tom works nights and sundays are our only 'full' day together as a family and that sometimes church can't always fit in. ( although it has until Easter) They looked at him like 'what'? church is everything, there is no reason not to make it your whole life. We need everyone. We all have to make sacrifices ( this is more me filling in the blanks of course :) They acted like they didn't know about that little detail maybe? But we are not the end all in this church and right now, I personally am teetering on the edge and I am tired of being on the edge. I need......... to look inside and find out what it is that needs to be fulfilled by this church and not feel obligated anymore. I just want to do what is right all the time by mine and other peoples standards and it doesn't ring true for me anymore. We are taking the summer off again this year from church. I'm not sure we are doing ourselves a diservice by doing this. But the rest of my family is jumping on that wagon as it rolls down the hill! Can I be the lone ranger in this church life. Do I want to be? I have to be the one to make it all happen anyway. Do I want that conrol anymore? Like the divorces and seprations above, it would be easy to just not go anymore. (humph, think think think).

Music with Kellirae was the most uninhibiated feeling I've ever had when it came to singing and just plan having fun with it. We are in the process of pulling together three song with great harmony parts in them that she can play on her guitar to sing at open mikes this summer. COOL! Looking so forward to our next practice.

My man is awesome and my girls are happy. what more can I say? I am just glad it is for now...(grin).

In times of change, it is the learners who will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists.  ~ Anon ~

Too nice of a day to post but.........

I have been wanting to get on here for days! I have been so busy doing beautiful day stuff. My gardens are prim and ready for anything I might do to them. Yes, I had to water. The dry start to this growing season worries me. Many things have been worrying me. I have many things I need to express here. Let me make a list and see how well I stick to it when I come back:

1). Four couples in the last three weeks have expressed a divorce or a separation to me.

2). We have a new Interm Pastor, I think he looked right through me.

2.5). Music with Kellirea this week

3). What mistakes really mean

4). books I want and need to read and have been reading.

5). My girls.

6). My Man.

7). what church still doen't mean to me.

See you on the next rainy day!!

P.S. this blogsite sucks. it won't let me make a list for peat sakes!!!!!

Hepatica acutiloba

Hepatica acutiloba
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

The species name might not be acuurate, but it was the closest I could find for now. But it is a Hepatica! This one closest to the house bloomed first. The others will take a few more days or until it rains. Pray for rain.

Wandering in the woods outside Notre Dames' property I found these Hepatica gems may years ago. The constant onslaught of development around the campus motivates me to return this year to save what I can. Jack-in-the-Pulpit of several varieties and hepatic mounds the size of basketballs. Another spot I like to visit yearly is under development on all sides. the area left behind is a wetland or should I say dumping ground for anyone who is interested in getting rid of old tires couches, coolers or that broken lawn chair. There you can find (save) Early Meadow Rue, White Baneberry,
Giant Trillium, Mayapples and many things I problably haven't identified yet. Tom is starting a coldframe for me this week. Some seeds need to get started and some planted directly into the garden. I look forward to getting my hand dirty. Well Hedi is here and the girls want to do grammar in the treehouse. I hope she is not afraid of heights.

~Love is never absent from our lives. We do not have to find it. We are it.
~ Robert Rabin

Sanguinaria Canadensis Bloodroot

Sanguinaria Canadensis Bloodroot
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Buy my English posies!
  You that scorn the May,
Won't you greet a friend from home
  Half the world away?
  Green against the draggled drift,
Faint and frail and first --
  Buy my Northern blood-root
  And I'll know where you were nursed:
Robin down the logging-road whistles, "Come to me!"
Spring has found the maple-grove, the sap is running free;
All the winds of Canada call the ploughing-rain.
Take the flower and turn the hour, and kiss your love again!

~Rudyard Kipling

Pulmonaria Officinalis/Common Lungwort

Pulmonaria Officinalis/Common Lungwort
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

I had every intentions of going out into the yard yesterday and doing some major yard cleanup. I had several hours of free time to do so because both my girls were invited to a spring party for the whole afternoon. Came home after dropping them off and found the gas can for the leaf blower. went to get it filled so I could have the day to blow all the leaves leftover from the fall. Came back and found that it was too windy to do such a job so I had to find an alternative. I mean, It's such a nice day! I love to be in my yard! Right? I took the tarp out into the garden to do clean up and realized again the wind wasn't working in my favor so I gave up. I looked at Mackinaw and he looked at me. I said "do you want to go to the park boy?" and he said "yes!". so off we went for an afternoon of walking with my dog. Camera in hand, posied to take pictures of hipatica blooming on the hillside, no batteries! BEEP! Left the park came home to work on a couple of songs. Still had an hour to kill before picking up the girls, so I picked up a book. So the day was for me only. And I so appreciated the time to myself. The picture wasn't taken at the best time of day in the garden, but this was the only time I could write. Better quality nextime.