BRUNNERA "JACK FROST"

BRUNNERA "JACK FROST"
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Amy's contribution to the garden this year. Yes, If you want to spend some quality time with your mother you must buy and plant and put it in the garden!!!

Spent the day yesterday sleeping in, watering two other people's gardens and two of mine. The car and van got washed just so we can see the layer of pollen recollect on their shiny surfaces. The girls made a small fire and cooked an egg in our camping pot. Showered and took off for Waco beach. Tom had nothing but homemade ice cream from Saugatuck Michigan on his mind. One large mesh bag full of rocks from the beach and back home to camp out in the treehouse. My back hurts and I didn't get squat for sleep.
To the library today. Kelsey has a book report to start on. We are having Heidi come throughout the summer to keep things going with the girls. What could it hurt?
Meeting Annie and Kim tonight. where? I'm not sure. Maybe some outdoor place! it looks like a very nice day.
I have three other garden to work on this summer. One, is to finish up the herb garden at Cherly's where we have a vegetable garden as well. Two, is my foster mother 'new' house. So I had to dig up what I gave her a few years back and transplant them into her 'very' bare garden. Much to be done there. And three, is the parsonage garden. Three years of weeds taking over. They were scary weeds! But the benefits of working on other gardens is the peaceful time alone and free plants!

Bonfire

Bonfire
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Okay, so it wasn't on a beach. I forget to take pictures at these functions. some day I'll get it. A small group but a fine night. It was nice to vent and catch up. Thanks for the leftover walnut chicken!!! WAHO!

another HTML test

Friday:
1) Hs-ing group
2) girls to movie
Saturday:
3) parsonage garden
4) amy to gutiar
5) friendsjam
Sunday:
6) church
7) New Buffalo
8) bonfire
Monday:
9) day off!!!

this is a test to check HTML

A flower's fragrance declares to all the world that it is fertile,
available, and desirable, its sex organs oozing with nectar.  
Its smell reminds us in vestigial ways of fertility, vigor, life-force,
all the optimism, expectancy, and passionate bloom of youth. 
We inhale its ardent aroma and, no matter what our ages,
we feel young and nubile in a world aflame with desire.
-   Diane Ackerman,  A Natural History of the Senses, 1990, p. 13

Difference in me

Viola
Originally uploaded by Naphátú.

Happiness has found me,
for I have found myself.
I know what is right,
what is wrong,
what is the best.
I have found a people
deep inside of me,
each and every one
representing me,
all the things I stand for,
all that I believe.
All things important
have come together in me.
I have found the answer -
the difference is me.
I will stand up,
in this giant sea.
I will be the difference,
for I am me.

~Elaina Polovick (15 yrs. old)

Went to a wedding this past saturday and saw many friends from Holy Cross there. What a splendid time we had. The girls danced themselves to sleep. And yes, there was plenty of Polka! The Polovick Family are very good friends of ours since day one at Holy Cross. Three Daughters, two that are the same age as my two girls and one who is blazing a virtious path for those following in line. I couldn't ask for a better role model for my girls. Elaina has been writting poems and getting them published lately and this one I especially liked, will get framed and hung somewhere in this house. She's 15! what insight she has at such a young age.

looking forward to this weekends music jam and bonfire. Lets hope the weather treats us well.
Tom went back to work last week with a new driving route. He no longer goes up to Rockford. He has a more relaxed route of going down to Indianapolis and then back up to Westville. This route give him more hours and more money because he pulls a double. The adjustment has been difficult because he starts so early now. Before he would leave by 8:00pm. Now he leave at 5:00pm. which doesn't leave a whole lot of quality time with the family after he gets up. Amy especially is hit hardest with this beacuse guitar lesson has to be with me instead of Dad. I think we will change the lessons to Saturday so Dad can continue to take her and have that time together. I like the fact that he gets home so early in the morning now. but there's not enough time to accompish much when he gets up. We are still working out all the knots. Soon it will become smoothier. This route was picked in order to cover the up and coming school tuition. What a great provider he is.

Church is slowly coming to an end. We have our sunday school community project of the parsonage garden saturday morning. I hope everyone shows up. Not that I wouldn't want to do it alone. (It's a control thing when it comes to gardening).
We have a young woman from Sudan here in the states taking conflict resoultion classes in order to go back and help her people and others to heal from the on going conflicts that have and maybe still are in many ways, continuing. It was difficult to listen to her because of the strong accent. But the gathering we had before she came to the states gave us all we needed to know. The questions of course were flying. She answered everyone of them with grace. Kermit Eby asked "Do you have any questions to ask of us?". "Yes, I do"she said. What a whopper of a question she had. She wanted to know when we come to her country to help, did we feel like we truly helped? Kermit said "he would like to know the answer to that one also". The response around the class was, just by being there and gaining knowledge of the struggles for basic life necessities was humbling. It is an overwhelming task to go to a country like Sudan and not want to walk away feeling like you made a markable difference. The issues are so big and so many. Any effort towards Peace, no matter how 'markable' it may be to ourselves, is always going to make a ripple in the pond. Yes?

hummingbird

hummingbird
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

it took me days to get this picture.

Viburnum opulus

Viburnum opulus
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

well, this is my second try to get something other than pictures on my blog. In my last effort I mentioned how nice it was to have a rain day yesterday. It allowed me to get much needed clutter taken care of. My home feels good enough for me to tackle what ever comes.

We have a wedding to attend this Saturday. A friend from Holy Cross, her son is getting married. It will be nice to be at a function where there will be many friends from the girls school. Sounds like ' The Cha Cha Slide' to me!!!

Went shopping with the girls to get them a dress for the event. They don't have dress one. Many of our friends offered up dress options for them to choose from of which none was choosen.

we didn't spend big bucks. Lucky for us Easter leftover outfits were on clearence. Shoes at Payless and purses at T.J. Maxx.

Today is HS group at the zoo for Anna and Zoe's birthday. Later on this afternoon the girls will spend time with dad while mom goes shopping for the wedding. I am taking Laureen with me as a second pair of eyes. I suck at shopping and she's it man!!! I want to wear something fresh and pretty with strapy sandles. Maybe something that will match my new braclett! Man do I sound like a girly girl !!

Geranium maculatum

Geranium maculatum
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

_Iron Butterfly tiarella-

_Iron Butterfly tiarella-
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

sweet woodruff

sweet woodruff
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Podophyllum peltatum mayapple

Podophyllum peltatum mayapple
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Geranium___

Geranium___
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

purple Iris

purple Iris
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

I love my camera

Bat napping

Bat napping
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Had a wonderful weekend in MAdsion WI. The weather was a bit chilly, but the friendship warm and cozy.

While out weed wackin yesterday I came across this bat hanging onto the side of this tree just inches from the ground. I would not have seen if it didn't move just a bit to accomodate my wackin. It is still there today. I believe it must be sick and dying.

Going out tonight to visit with Cindy and Kim over a few Marg's. Sounds good. Tomorrow night I will be visiting Annie with Kim again. Good week for you Girl!

Communication and listening skill were the topic for our family forum this past Sunday. We hope to have a short meeting every week on Sundays with one topic in mind and just whatever is on their minds. This includes donuts! Big draw.

Reading:

Picked up a new book today by Karen Stabiner "My Girl" Adventures with a teen in training. I think we qualify and hoping for some helpful insights.

Church:

Church sucked this week. I beat myself up several times a year when I have a 'not so good church experiencce'. I can't pin point anything in particular. Just that we belong to this church, but our involvement is shakey. I want to leave, but I can't. That's the crux of it.
and so it goes........

"We are to be more than mere church members, for church membership alone will not save us. It is what we do with our membership that counts."
~ unknown


hmmmmm?

Rev. Fabricio P. Guzman

assise
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Fab Guzman and his lovely wife Luella were regular customers at Martins supermarket where I worked for 7 years. When he found out that I was getting married because I was pregnant, it put me in a role he was familar in dealing with daily. I could see a check list of concerns going off in his head about the sucess rate of marriage survial due to unexpected pregnancies. He made it a point to visit when Kelsey was born. I felt like a social worker was coming to inspect my home and our marriage; to see if we or the home was fit for our new daughter. Fab showed up with a gift. A silver sippy cup with Kelsey's name and birth date engraved upon it. He stayed only for a few minutes, giving me words of incouragement on the big change in my life. How serious the responsibiity was. how real, how precious.

I knew all that. I appreciated his concern for the unorthodox way our child came into this world (in his eyes, and in many). But he was the man with the numbers and the life long experience committed to the underbelly of many cities and their people.

I had the pleasure of running into Fab and his wife Luella about one year ago. He was so happy to see where our life had taken us as a family. Our involvment in the church of the Bretheren. Though Fab challenged me further. in a few short words, wondered why I wasn't living and supoorting the northwest side of our city by living among the people that are in need? Well, he was there. many people have made that choice. I respect that emencly. But the house of cards did not play out that way for us. We didn't make any conscientious choices until much later in life. Even now those are few sadly. I believe we all have our place where the world needs us to play out our part (our gifts) responsibly. I won't beat myself up because it doesn't match your idea of what would be best for most. What we do....do IS something. It may not be enough but it IS something.

Peace be with you my friend.


~Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love:
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not
So much seek to be consoled
As to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born
to eternal life.

Saint Francis

mother's Day gift

mother's Day gift
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

Yesterday My freind Laureen and I dug out three old yew stumps and replaced the space with two monster Red Rodies. Now Laureen told me that "once you get the bushes into their spot, you won't be happy with the fact that you didn't go crazy and chain saw down the rest of the ugly yews that surround that area. (Verbatim not included). Well, She is right. But I'm not going to tell her that!!! MONEY!! Hello?! I can't just go willy nilly chopping down everything and replace it NOW! Because that is what it would take. The NOW factor. One thing at a time. One project at a time (ahem). Okay I have two projects going. so what. I can handle that without feeling overwhelmed, except for the lack of money to buy what I want. but who doesn't have that issue? I have big dreams for my garden. The reconstruction of the front beds will have a maturity requirement. I want to enjoy the garden in all it's splender now, not after I am dead and gone. So call me impatience. Go ahead, I dare ya!

~Beauty is no quality in things themselves: it exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.
~David Hume

feels like nap time

feels like nap time
Originally uploaded by merelyhere.

The last few very cold days I've been wanting to climb into bed with our cat Tigger. To get wrapped up in his fur and get cozy warm and sleep until mother nature decides to make a comeback on the warmer weather.

Star wars 1 and 2 this past weekend in preparation for Starwars 3 in two weeks. Then of course we will indulge in 4-6 to finish off the whole series. All I want to say is "Luke, I am your Father". Amy has taken a great liking to the Starwars series but Kelsey has other interests.

Starting the girl's room this first week of vacation with a quick face lift. New bedding and bed arrangements. Touch up on the chipped paint and scrape windows. How fortunate for them. How difficult the decisions of whose stuff goes where and what should and shouldn't be in there. I gave them the control to figure it out themsleves and come up with the answers so we could get started. Twice they tried to drag me into it. "Hello? don't you know I am PMS-ing?". Finally a decision is made, no one is really satisfied, or at least that is what I feel but I move forward anyway. Eventually humming and singing insue while the job takes on a new life of it's own. Today we will finish the job and look forward to tackling the treehouse sofets tomorrow. Thank God cedar wood is on sale this week!

Kelsey lost it last night:

She is so afraid. So afraid.
Let's see if I can list the things we talked about.
* She's afraid to go back to school because, she doesn't know how to move through the halls. She has always been a nervious reck when it came to school. Her father and I both were the same way.

* She isn't able to tell her friends how she really feels about going back to school because they are SO happy she is returning. She doesn't want them to get mad at her for feeling otherwise.

* She afraid for all the children who don't have food to eat and a place to live.

~Why does this all feel like the hardest thing in my life right now? The all comsuming Kelsey?
~Why do I insist that I have to deal with it alone because my husband doesn't know what to say without causing more emotional hassle for me?
~Why can't I fall into a smooth two step dance of how much she has to offer and how wonderful life really can be if you don't focus so much on the bad stuff? ( "like what?" she asks)
~ Is the most tramatic thing in my kid life the inablility to get beyond her fear of life?

~Is this the path she is suppose to take?

I told her how lucky she was to have the life she has. I had to bring in a bit of what kind of life I had at her age. Was that not a good tool to use? She needs to get outside herself focusness. ( is she writting?) the relentless fears she puts on herself daily to the point where she doesn't sleep (so she says). Have we not tried to get her interested in things outside the house to keep her mind on her special interests? Dose she have too much time on her hands to fester on all these negative feelings?

Buck up baby! You will survive or you might be scared for life. But as long as your not out to murder your father and I in our sleep I will feel very relieved that we suceeded in rasing you well in our decsion makings as parents. Second guessing oursleves as parents can be our worst enemy. I thought it was patience. Both.
What kelsey wants from me is something I never had a chance to experience as a child her age. It was survival then. But if I did have that element in my life back then I am sure I would be very much like sweet kelsey and all her spongy ways. I guess this is my chance. My chance to give her the tools to move through just about any door that get presented no matter how scary.
Can I do it?